Christmas Traveling – In Kansas

Land of AhsCrouched in a ditch peering into the passenger’s side of an overturned SUV on a two-lane highway; thirty mile-per-hour wind; ten degree temperature; semi-trucks barreling by like their racing home to catch their favorite team’s game-winning field goal.

How do marketers describe this Kansas fun?

“There’s No Place Like Home”  ~ What was Dorothy thinking when she clicked those ruby shoes together? I’m sure she wasn’t thinking about landing back in Kansas on a winter day. If the Tin Man didn’t fabricate some cleats on the bottom of Dorothy’s slippers, she would have landed right on her caboose. That might have launched her into a “Somewhere over the Rainbow” with a few new verses. Marketers are so funny.

“Kansas as Big as You Think” ~ Most folks don’t see how big Kansas is during the winter because they usually only have a two-inch circle cleared on their windshield. Maybe the marketers were referring to the monstrous icicle spears hanging off my house gutters. Or, they might have been describing the snow drifts you get with forty mile-per-hour winds rifling across flat land. Marketers are so funny.

“Simply Wonderful” ~ I thought it was simply wonderful when I passed a salt truck yesterday and several of his rocks pelted my windshield. Yep, simply wonderful were the exact words I uttered when I noticed the two left-over smiley face circles cracked into my windshield. Marketers are so funny.

“Land of Ahhs” ~ Kansas is certainly the Land of Ahhs. When are the times we might use an “Ahh” to describe something during a Kansas winter? How about when we watch cars slide sideways down the road? Ahh is also what I usually say when I open my truck door and the wind blows my paperwork into the next county. Of course I usually add another word onto my ahh. Maybe the slogan writers just forgot the other word? Marketers are so funny.

Being a life long resident, I do love Kansas. But, I think our marketers should have put an asterisk beside their slogans:

*Except in Winter

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