Hind End – Open Mic

Car Seat* Story by Chief Steve Moody

The emergency medical patient was a family member of our fire inspector.  So, the fire inspector rode along in the back with me and the patient when it came time to transfer her to a Wichita hospital. A third medic served as the driver.

The patient made the trip without any complications.

What I didn’t know when I took the seat as the driver on the return trip was what the preceding driver did before he stepped out of the ambulance.  He laid the radio mic in the crack alongside the right-hand side of the driver’s seat.  And, when he stepped out, it slid down.

So, when I sat my hind end in the seat – unbeknownst to me – I keyed the mic.

Now, this would’ve been okay if the fire inspector and I hadn’t gotten into a slightly negative conversation about the department.  For the next hour we bantered back and forth from one subject to the next – all with a negative twist.

A friend back in Salina did his best to cover our conversation by keying a microphone  –  for an hour.  The reason the friend only had to key up for an hour is that was the point when I made a slight seat adjustment.  That adjustment eased the pressure off keying my mic.  And that was when I heard a message from my friend – “Medic #1 check for an open mic.”

Immediately, the fire inspector and I realized what had happened.   We both thought our jobs were probably finished.   I believe the only thing that saved us was there wasn’t necessarily anything untruthful about our conversation.  It was just very critical and unkind.

The lesson was rather ironic.  We were literally talking crap.  And the crappy conversation was being transmitted because of a hind end.  So, learn a lesson from my experience.

And, in the words of my Grandma, “If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”

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