Category Archives: Humor

JUST FOR FUN: One Magic Molar

*By Fire Chief Steve Moody

It was two o’clock in the morning – not a soul in sight – when it happened.  

After the address the dispatch message was – “Medic 4, contact Dispatch reference a non-emergency transfer to the Hospital.”  Why no explanation for the transfer?   Instead of calling Dispatch – I decided that I would simply go to the scene and get an explanation from the patient. 

She met us in the front yard.  There she stood.  A young lady wearing short-shorts; a mid-drift halter top; multiple tattoos on her legs and neck; holding the fingers of her right hand across her right eye. 

This was her story:  

 Mike and Ike“I was sitting in my living room eating a box of Mike & Ike’s candy.  I had just chewed up a couple of the Mike & Ike’s candy “the red ones”.  It was when I swallowed that it happened.  

My left molar – the one in the very, very back – it came out.   The molar immediately went down my throat with the Mike & Ike’s candy – the red ones.  But, half way down my throat the molar – it got stuck. 

It was stuck there for the longest time.  I was retching and retching when I suddenly vomited.  Strangely, the molar became dislodged at the same time as my vomit.  The molar made an about turn – going up my throat with the vomit. 

But, instead of the molar coming out my mouth with the vomit – it kept going upwards.  The molar went straight up into my sinus cavity. 

Once it hit my sinus cavity the molar made a right turn and went that direction until it lodged itself behind my right eye.  But, it didn’t simply stop there – now it’s trying to come out! 

She then told me.  “If I release my hand pressure – the molar will force my eye to “fly out!”      

The patient was transported to the Hospital where upon examination the eye did not “fly out of the socket”.  She was referred to an eye doctor. 

Up until her hospital departure the young lady maintained that the molar was still “lodged behind her eye.” 

Ladies and Gentlemen – that’s “One Magic Molar.”      

*Medic partner Scott Pfortmiller will verify every detail of this story.